Orientation this past week was incredibly tiring and overwhelming and just insane. I've had a ton of time to think about every choice I've made through high school and as much as I don't like the way some things have worked out, as much as I miss people or will miss people, and as much as I feel like I wasted a lot of time on things I didn't enjoy as much as others, I'm pretty sure I've made the right choices. As many times as I play out my decisions in my head and think of a choice I could've made that would have given me something else that I wanted, I'm probably where I need to be. Even though I'm frustrated and sad right now, I don't think any other decisions would've been the right thing for me to do.

I guess some things are like picking between eating only spinach OR ice cream for the rest of your life - you know deep down one of them is way better for you, even though its kind of boring and bland, but the other one will at least keep you really happy for the time being- even if you're getting really fat in the process.

I guess I'll just take life as it comes for a while. There's not much to do about anything now...At least I met some interesting people and found the boba tea place I will be living in for the next four years..

    Goodbye Java and Cha...You were good to me         

There's a light at the end of this tunnel you shout
Cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made
You'll just make them again if you'll only try turnin' around

Cause you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button boys so cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe,

Breathe, just breathe.

<edit>

You know you want to know, you nerd you...


 

I just keep telling myself that in another 6 months everything will be fine. I'll have forgotten about all the people I didn't care about that much in the first place, I'll have new friends, I'll be settled in my new home, and it'll all be just fine. But right now, I'm not really sure. With the last three days of school approaching, I'm more terrified than I think i've ever been. I'm so scared that I'm never going to see some of the people I really care about ever again - that we're never going to be the same way. I'm sure a billion people have felt exactly the same way I feel right now. I'm sure a million people feel the same way right this second. But right now, it's lonlier than ever, thinking that for the first time in my life I'm going to be alone. Without my family and without the people I've known for what seems like forever. And i'm really really scared.

I've promised myself I'm not going to cry at graduation. So if anyone sees me tearing up, slap me or something. Seriously.

And just in case you didn't know, I love all of you. For whatever it is you've done for me. You're all making it incredibly hard to leave...